They lied to us

There IS such a thing as a dumb question. Sorry kids.

What did you call me?

Zaftig = my new favorite word.

Too late

Just thought of the perfect Halloween costume for me: a cougar! Next year...

Howling for you

Saw my first in-person Three Wolf Moon shirt tonight. It was glorious.

It's the end of the world as we know it

It's a beautiful day for the apocalypse.

Hee-haw

I want a donkey.

Show-off

Is it just me, or does anyone else feel like you're showing off when you pass someone with a walker?

White and Lacy

Dear little old lady,

I'm 30 and I wear a tank top under sheer tops. You're at least twice my age; I think you should be held to the same standard.

Sincerely,
Nice bra

Damn Computer!

I am officially dubbing my work computer "Smalls" so every morning when it takes FOR-EV-ER to start up I can scream "You're killing me, Smalls!" ...then I'll smash it against the wall.

The new deal

I just figured out what my "raise" was for taking this new position: An additional $0.76/hr.

I'm the worst negotiator ever.

Is there a vaccine for that?

Feeling like I'm coming down with something. Maybe I'm allergic to 30.